Once upon a time ago I purchased a coffee cup at a gun show with this image:

And I took it to my place of work.  At the time I was the security officer on the night shift at the former Midway Hospital in Saint Paul and it had been converted into an office building for the Health East Care System.  Apparently someone saw the coffee cup with the image on it and felt threatened by it.  Can you believe that?  The site supervisor for the security department had to ask me to remove the cup from the site.

And we let these morons vote?  It's time to establish the Terran Federation.


We in the United States are stuck with two political parties.  The leadership of one party is insane and the leadership of the other party simply doesn't care.  Rank and file members now call establishment members a bunch of Vichy Republicans.

Perhaps its time to start a new political party.  Is a new political party possible?

The answer is, I don’t know.  The opponents of chattel slavery proceeded, even with public opposition.  We, as opponents of political power, have to.  We need to treat exercises of political power, such as censorship, as crimes against Humanity.  We need to treat bans on firearms and free speech as the anti-Human acts that they actually are.  Our political elites have apparently forgotten the lesson taught by our original civil war, that banning freedom doesn’t work.  Our political elites tried to ban the voluntary consumption of alcohol, it didn’t work.  Our political elites tried to ban the voluntary consumption of hard drugs, it doesn’t work.  Our political elites will try to ban the voluntary ownership of firearms and freedom of speech, it will never work.  Our politicians are supposed to do a specific job and they aren't doing it.  We have to start a new political party to go around them.  We don't have a choice.

Let's call our new party the Freedom Party.

Will the Freedom Party replace the Democratic Party?

I don't think so.  What's more likely is that the Freedom Party will replace the Republican Party just like the Republicans replaced the Whigs.

Another Two Thousand Reasons To Not Vote Democratic

Here's two thousand words as to why I won't ever consciously vote for a Democrat.

For those who're victims of the public schools with the Mainstream Media, a group of Muslims managed to hijack four commercial airliners and crashed three of them into each of the main towers of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.  We've yet to properly respond to this atrocity.  By a proper response I mean that we should've erased the abomination commonly known as the Kaaba from the face of the Earth with a high yield thermonuclear weapon.  And in doing so we would've demonstrated that the deity known as Allah was without question a false god and the doctrine known as Islam was an absolute load of nonsense.

Of course there will be those who would've point a finger at me and scream that I'm expressing hatred. So what?

If we would hang a traitor once in a while (pour encourager l'outres) they wouldn't be so annoying.

 A lie is a lie regardless of how many people choose to believe it or are compelled to believe it.  But the truth is the truth, learn to live with it.

There are those who pose as Progressives that have declared that criticism of Islam is an expression of hatred.


No, this is hatred.

Nearly 3000 people were murdered as an act of hated against Humanity.


For Muslims there's no why.  There's only the will of the false god Allah as dropped from the mouth of the false Prophet Mohammad.  And it 's only in the Nineteenth Century that we'd see anyone who equaled that level of depravity, such as Karl Marx.

What's the purpose of religious tolerance?

The individual is the sovereign authority in a civil society.  Because of this the government can't impose a belief, including a religious belief, upon the person.  Thus any religion that accepts the individual as sovereign authority in a civil society can and must be tolerated.  Under Islam man is the property of the deity.  A person has no rights, can't enact legislation, and can't establish and uphold a moral standard.  Compliance with Islam must be imposed by force.  Furthermore a Muslim is permitted to deceive or otherwise use nonbelievers for their own gain and even commit murder.  An underage girl who's protected under a rational code of law is seen, literally, as a usable object under the doctrine of Islam.

Such behavior, which denies the rights and sovereignty of the individual, can't be tolerated in a civil society.  I will furthermore go further in saying that the existence of Islam can be seen as possible proof of the nonexistence of God.  A rational, caring, and observant God should have vaporized the false prophet Mohammad the moment he opened his mouth to claim divine blessing for such obviously evil acts as rape, robbery, murder, censorship, and participation in the slave trade.  Islam is absolutely toxic to Human life.  And those, including the enforcers of Islamic doctrine, who deny the Rights Of Man absolutely cannot claim those very same rights for themselves.  Those who act to enforce the doctrine of Islam are absolute Enemies of Mankind.  They're fit solely for extermination.

A belief in Islamophobia is pure and absolute nonsense.  Islamophobia is a false concept.  Phobia is a Latin word for an irrational fear of something.

The obvious question is how can someone be tricked into betraying any moral value when they absolutely lack one?  The false prophet Mohammad commanded his followers to commit the acts of rape, robbery, and murder.  The doctrine of Islam commands enslavement and the systematic violation of the rights of man and to act as predatory animals.  Without question the doctrine and practice of Islam is absolutely depraved.  Given that Human Life is the foundation of all valid moral values then Islam must be absolutely condemned.  But the signatories of this document condemn as immoral those who hold an actual moral standard.  I' m hard pressed to respond to this utterly depraved document without the use of barracks language.  But I'll say this, Vidkun Quisling was shot for his betrayal of the Norwegian people and we’re going to need an all night firing squad to deal with this bunch.

They're not un-Minnesotan, they're anti-human.

 Is there such a thing as Islamophobia?


It's perfectly natural to have a fear of being conquered by a bunch of ignorant and violent people.

Can a Muslim be a good person?  Is it possible for someone who's indoctrinated in the absolutely depraved ideology of Islam to act as a good person?  We saw examples of of a Muslim being good in during the terrorist actions in Paris.  The first being the police officer who's murdered by the Jihadists in the line of duty.  The other being the young man who led others to safety during the attack on the delicatessen.  It's possible for a Muslim to be a good person but this is a compromise.  As with all compromises it's untenable.  In the long run these people must renounce the doctrine of Islam and embrace Reason as the way of life.  Every Muslim, at least in theory, is Human.  A fundamental part of being Human is the capacity for reason, full perception and conscious thought.

The doctrine of Islam forbids rational thought.  Islam reduces all persons to the moral status of animals and thus to property.  In submitting to the alleged will of the false god Allah the Muslim renounces responsibility for their own actions.  All murders and other crimes committed by a Muslim are simply the will of the false god Allah.  In reality when a Muslim desires to commit an act of rape, robbery, or murder he simply declares that he is only following the orders of false god Allah.

The doctrine of Islam claims that the entire body of laws made by men, thousands of years of effort by mankind to create a just society, thousands of years of effort by of good men, who wrote legal charters and laws, including our original Constitution and our Bill Of Rights, are simply nullified by the mouth droppings of the false prophet Mohammad.

On what grounds can those who deny The Rights of Man can claim protection the under those very same rights?

None whatsoever.

But how one deals with another person determines how that person responds.  When the Muslim renounces responsibility for their own thoughts and actions they can no longer be rationally identified as being Human.  And we who remain rational humans can no longer identify and deal with a Muslim as a proper person who's responsible for their own life and actions.  We can only see them as toxic organisms to be removed as a hazard to our lives.  And worse the indoctrination of children in the doctrine of Islam condemns them to extinction as well.

Islam is a clearly false doctrine that serves only as an excuse for criminal actions that are beyond the toleration of civilized people.  Islam denies all of the Rights of Man and therefore no Muslim can claim any of those rights for himself.  We must accept as a fact of reality that Islam is outside of the protection of the First Amendment and take the actions necessary to protect the citizens and legal residents of the United States.  The rational people of Earth are left with no alternative but to kill them all.  On the day of the extinction of Islam, I'll feel no guilt about it, and neither should anyone else.  Islam, like all other anti-Human (you know, EVIL) ideologies, can only be opposed through the education of the general population of its actual doctrines and effects, and through the consistent exercise of retaliatory force upon those Muslims who cross the line into violence.  When we do this (and we have to) the problem of Koran disposal will take care of itself.

I’m usually loath to agree with any Marxist, but I now agree with one.  We imagine our divine authority to be a reflection of ourselves.  The false prophet Mohammad imagined a monster like himself.  But then what can one say about a false religion founded by an individual who combines and magnifies the worst attributes of William Jefferson Clinton, Lafayette Ron Hubbard, and Charles Manson?

The basic goal of Rational Man is to live a human life.  The goal of the founder of Islam was to live as an animal without regard to the consequences.  Islam denies all of The Rights Of Man.  Muslims can't under any circumstances claim any of those rights for themselves.   In order to live in a Human society a Muslim must fully renounce Islam.  No exceptions can EVER be made.

We didn't start this war.  It began when the false prophet Mohammad took up the sword against those who refused to submit to his depraved will.  Those who choose to lay down the sword of Islam and join human civilization will be welcomed as friends.  Those who continue to wield the sword of Islam against Humanity are going to have that sword shoved up their terminal orifice.

Islam and the mass of contradictions that's claimed to be a system of law was the product of a thoroughly depraved individual.  Sharia law is a contradiction in terms.  Sharia is the codification of the nihilistic lust for power and plunder of the false prophet Mohammad whose moral values are essentially that of a predatory animal pretending to be a human being.  I could describe the false prophet Mohammad as a walking piece of excrement but that would be an insult to excrement.

Is there a solution to the problem of Islam short of a Final Solution?  The doctrine of Islam denies all of the Rights of Man including the Right of Life.  Given that Muslims are required to act as the mortal enemies of Mankind there are no middle grounds under which a peace can be negotiated with any of them.  In the end the practice of Islam must be removed from existence altogether.  Even if Muslims are not exterminated altogether they must be removed from rationally functioning human societies.  Those who deny the Rights of Man cannot live in a rational Human Society based on those rights.  Therefore Muslims have no place in a rational Human Society in and must be expelled from it.  Under no circumstances will any attempt be made to comply with any part of the Islamic code of law, including the dietary code.  If for example the least expensive food available to feed the Muslims in temporary detention before deportation is pork then it will be used.  If Muslims insist on complying with the false dietary laws and starve to death as a result then it’s their fault alone.

Clausewitz defined war as "an act of violence intended to compel our opponent to fulfill our will"

In demanding absolute submission the false prophet Mohammad had essentially declared war on Mankind.  Therefore those who follow his command to make war on those who properly refuse to submit are in effect enemy combatants and should be identified and dealt with as such.  Under the customs of warfare and subsequent legislation assault on a civilian is a serious offense with murder and rape being treated as capital crimes.  Humanity is at war with Islam.  Let's treat it as such.

Have we learned the lessons of 9/11?


One of the things we should have learned through direct experience in the Twentieth Century is that cowardice isn't an option.  We're in a fight for our lives and WE ARE LOSING.  We're losing what is in fact the Third World War because our rulers refuse to identify it as such.   And that the cause of liberty is in fact a holy cause.  We're in fact in a holy war.  One doesn't prevail in a holy war by pretending that the opposing faith is in fact valid.  We can only prevail if we correctly expose the falsehoods for which the enemy is fighting.  By treating their doctrine as false.  By systematically destroying their ideological infrastructure of indoctrination and enforcement.  Destroy their texts and temples, eliminate their enforcers with their indoctrinators.  But there's no excuse for cowardice when one's faced with actual evil.  We need to treat Islam as the toxic doctrine that it actually is.

A quote:  "Spare a moment to remember the nearly 3,000 innocent victims of insane hate who died on this day in the year 2001.  And spare a thought for the loved-ones they left behind."

-- Dr. John Ray.

Those who can believe absurdities will commit atrocities.  If the false prophet Mohammad were to appear in the United States today and behave as depicted in the Islamic records he'd either be locked in padded room and given a lifetime supply of happy pills, locked in a maximum security prison, or given the needle.  (Except in the state of Utah where he'd be taken out and shot.)

I have a question for our self-appointed masters.

The Cold War is over, why do have relations with ANY Islamic country?

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    angry angry

Remembering Waco

We identify The Holocaust as the evil act it actually was.  But we're looking at The Holocaust objectively.  From the subjective viewpoint the perpetrators of The Holocaust believed they were the good people doing good things and that their victims were evil.  We, the advocates of Liberty, take the objective position and identify The Waco Massacre as the act of state terror that it actually was.  But the common narrative has taken the subjective point of view and identifies the perpetrators of massacre as the good guys.

There's a right way to with deal someone like Koresh and it wasn't followed.

What happened?

The local office of the BATF received a report of automatic weapons fire at the residence of Branch Davidians outside of Waco, Texas.  No inquiry was made with the local law enforcement agencies.  Nor did they as allowed under the current regulations send agents out to inspect the federally licenced firearms dealer residing on the site.  And they could have arrested Koresh as he made his morning run but did not do so.   With his past history of cooperation with local law enforcement they could have simply asked him to come down to the local sheriff’s station.  Instead they attempted to stage a military style assault, code named Operation Showtime, in order to impart a positive impression of the agency upon the current administration in Washington.  After the task force was driven off the Hostage Rescue Team of the FBI, descended upon the Branch Davidians and laid siege to the residence.

On this day The HRT used armored vehicles to destroy the exits from the building and to allow the wind to blow through it and then injected CS gas, known to be inflammable and toxic to children and elderly persons, into the wooden structure.  HRT fired CS rounds, which are incendiary devices into, the building.  A tactic to commit mass murder used by the Nazis in Poland and Russia was to confine civilians, especially women and children, in wooden buildings and set the structures on fire.  To this day the perpetrators remain at large.

I reposted on THE NEW RESISTER an article about the Waco Massacre that was originally published on the Libernet Mailing List in 1993.

My Editorial Introduction.

Part One.

Part Two.

Part Three.

Part Four.

Part Five.


Koresh, if he was alive today would clearly be an enemy of an Objectivist, but someone has to speak for him.

Something I Once Wrote For THE RESISTER

I have seen the conservative and liberal nomenklatura of this country ignore and violate the Constitution that I once swore to uphold and defend.

The government -- that the best and most rational men of this country fought, bled and died to establish and protect -- is being perverted into another system of plunder and oppression.

The legacy of the Founders is being spat upon, forsaken and abused.

There are millions of people in this country who repudiate responsibility for living their own lives and beg for a Big Brother to take of them.  And of course, a bunch of what Plato euphemistically called "philosopher kings," are all too happy to step forth and grant their dearest wishes.  And never mind the cost -- that's what the rest of us are for.

The poets, philosophers, priests and politicians loudly proclaim that it is our duty to sacrifice our own lives, liberties, properties and whatever purpose we have in our lives so that overgrown crybabies can feel snugly warm and secure in the bosom of Big Mommy.  And if any of us -- the people who are adult human beings -- raises any objection to being so used, the squads of stormtroopers (Plato would say "guardians") that our police are being perverted into will "take care of us."

Our self-proclaimed erstatz-parents don't know what they're doing nor do they want to know.  When we the true adults complain about their actions and try to explain why they are wrong, they will emit excuses for ignoring us.  They refuse to mentally focus on objects in reality including us, but their subconscious is still receiving signals from their senses, they get emotional signals, that is, they have feelings as things move in and out of the range of their perception.  When they perceive the man who
doesn't need them -- the man who is rational and independent -- they feel fear and hatred.  They feel the need to destroy by any means the intellectually and morally autonomous person.

When I mentally focus on them are and what they are doing -- my subconscious sends signals of hate, fear and contempt --and why shouldn't it?

Why shouldn't I feel the need to see our oppressors stood against a wall and shot -- I want to see bullets rip into their bodies and see their blood and utterly corrupted brains splattered all over.  Why should I not want to see the bullet shredded corpses of Bill and Hillary, and other such creatures with delusions of parenthood dumped into any garbage landfill site that happens to be convenient?

(BTW, where did they dump President and Mrs. Ceausescu?)

On The Left

The Left abhors the thought of being judged by their character because they have none.  What's present is the black hole of their lust for power.  A desire for control over every aspect of our lives that distorts or destroys everything that comes within their influence.  The positive side is that if we don't drop below their moral event horizon we can escape from their influence.  But we will be damaged as a result.  The problem with painting the streets with the blood of our enemies is that we have to clean up the mess later.  I still wonder how folks on The Left manage to get out of bed without seriously hurting themselves.

An election in a constitutional republic is a process of hiring someone to perform a constitutionally defined task.  It's not a mystical collectivist ritual for the anointment of a stone age god-king.  We don't believe in The Leader Principle. We don't believe that the stone age god-king that Democrats believe in is in any way the embodiment of a collective will.  And we certainly don't believe that we're in any way subject to what's in fact a Democrats personal whim.  We aren't and never will be a living prop in a ideological fantasy.  We won't bind ourselves with the chains that a Democrat offers us.  And we will never embark on the path that always leads to the anonymous ditch outside of a town.   A Democrat is a believer in what Ayn Rand used to call the Primacy of Consciousness, a belief that reality isn't inherently real but is in some way alterable by a ruling consciousness.  The Collective, which in many versions of Socialist doctrine has a distinct consciousness of its own. Some Leftists have gone as far as to claim that the individual perception of actual reality, which invariably contradicts the doctrines of the collectivists, is a form of false consciousness.  This explains why the Left has made the effort to gain control of the Mainstream Media, and why they insist on "shaping opinion" instead of simply reporting the facts.  Democratic supporters in the media are through the deliberate issuance of falsehoods trying to alter reality.  But reality is inherently real.  Facts are facts.  Or to put it in the simplest terms: A is A.  If Hitler could be Democratically elected, then maybe the Democratic process isn't so good after all.

The Democratic Party's nomenklatura, being essentially a bunch of parasites, feel that they are entitled to rule over us.  How else does one explain the utter contempt of the nomenklatura for "the democratic process", and their ongoing desire to disarm us.  They feel threatened by the expression of the common citizen's rejection of the will of the nomenklatura and the presence of the citizen body's mean's of enforcing that rejection.  To a parasite, rejection is death.

The basic problem with the "know it all" mentality is the belief that they really do know everything. Thus any new information that contradicts their existing belief structure is often dismissed as being false.  The real results in the real world are a series of disasters that are too numerous to list.  Never underestimate the ability of the committed Leftist to willfully ignore the most obvious piece of verifiable evidence.  Just because someone else is holding the gun doesn't change the fact that someone is engaged in the act of robbery.  Peace is what happens when you run out of targets.  To deny free will is to deny personal responsibility for one's own actions.  In an age when one can kill more people with the stroke of a pen than with a lifetime's use of a personal weapon that's a pretty useful excuse.

The point of the First Amendment was to protect the right of the people, including what we now call the Media, to speak and publish the truth, no matter how unpleasant it may be to those in (or wishing to be in) government.  The problem isn't only is this right being openly abused but any attempt to deal with this abuse would only create a power that'll with absolute certainty be abused by the other party should it regain power over us.  Laws are enacted, both respectable and contemptible, because someone acts in a way that is harmful other persons.  The point of having a First Amendment was that the voters would be properly informed about their elected officials and those who were seeking public office.  Instead we have an Established Media whose members have, on the basis of party affiliation, slandered a sitting president with very obviously forged documents and refused to report on the malignant behavior of a presidential candidate.  This is a gross and deliberate violation of the public trust.  And while this would not necessarily bring about a repeal of the First Amendment it may cause some to interpret it in a manner that is less tolerant of the present forms of media malfeasance.  This could lead to further problems in the future.

H. Beam Piper once wrote that political revolutions occur in a nation because the politicians become discredited.  The Republican Party has to a large degree discredited itself by their continued insistence on practicing politics as usual and their continued practice of making deals with the other side.  I still remember Waco.  We've reached the end of the era of politics as usual.  In the other party we're no longer confronted with fellow citizens with legitimate concerns but with a barbarian horde screaming for absolute power over all aspects of human life, demanding blind submission to doctrines that have no basis in reality, and the enforcement of policies that have been proven destructive to human life and civilized society.  And when we raise rational objections to their dogmas and actions we're commanded to be silent and are subjected to punishment for disobedience. In every problem we face as a civilized nation the other party is either the primary cause or the primary aggravating factor of that problem.  The fact of the matter is that those who make up the membership of the other party are no longer our fellow citizens, they're our enemies.  Enemies of our Republic and Enemies of Human Kind in General.  We need to face up to the fact that our laws and customs have been corrupted by our enemies and now form a virtual Gordian Knot which binds us on a path that leads to our destruction.  We need to cut the knot and we need to do it now.

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    aggravated aggravated

Slave Labor Day

Before labor there must be thought.  Anyone who doesn't know what they are doing is wasting their time.  Today we celebrate the fat union bosses who live the high life off of the forced dues of the real workers who're forced to join labor unions.
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    distressed distressed

Blast From The Past

Let's talk about Socialism.

We must understand that Socialism is essentially a Master/Slave ideology. If you pardon me for quoting the First Trustifarian, "from each according to their ability, to each according to their needs." And for the socialists, as with the antebellum slaveholders, the needs of the masters will always be much greater than the needs of the slaves.

The socialist master class, both here in the United States and abroad, basically see themselves being dispossessed of what according to their ideology is rightfully theirs. Control of their slaves and the products of slave labor. What should not be a surprise to us is that the response of the socialist master class and their supporters is in many ways similar to the actions of the antebellum slaveholder class and their supporters.

Those who reject the chains of the Left are subjected to public ridicule and slander by the self-styled intellectuals and subject to physical violence by the goon squad, with the ski-mask replacing the white sheet as the attire of choice.

If you will pardon me for the use of shocking language, to the master class of the Left, we who reject the chains of Socialism are (regardless of our actual race) no better than a bunch of "Uppity Niggers." It should be no surprise to us that they are treating us as such.

If we want to go on the ideological offensive (Or is it the Counter-Offensive?) we should simply point out the fact that the socialist economic structure is based on SLAVE LABOR.

If you will pardon me for repeating this, "from each according to his ability -- to each according to his need." Is the literal description of a slave labor economic system.

It is invariably the full socialist states such as the Soviet Union, the Third Reich, and the various People's Republics of Whatever that build and depend on full-service slave labor camps to create the goods that they need to survive.

It is the socialist parties in the otherwise Capitalist nations of the West that act as if wealth, the product of everyone's thought and labor, belong not to the individual who created it, but to some manifestation of the collective (Der Volk, the World Proletariat, etc.) as a whole, and thus act as if a robbery has occurred when the true creators of wealth are allowed to keep some of it.

(Gosh, wow, I do tend to get a bit long winded sometimes.)

The socialist is for the most part someone who declines to live the essentially rational and productive life that is proper to Man, and instead goes to great lengths (including the total disconnect from reality) to cook up excuses to grab the wealth created by others. As if the goods and services created by others were something naturally found in nature.

Instead of living as rational men, socialists choose instead to exist as less than rational animals.

Perhaps we should start treating them as such.

Let's start by voting them out of office and go on from there.

What are your questions on this block of instruction?
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Questions And Answers

Do Democrats cheat?



To Democrats the fundamental value is power.  Freedom is the negation of power and therefore must be opposed.  Or at least in public Freedom must not be supported lest the victims come to understand their actual position within the socialist order.  A Democrat wouldn't be caught dead standing up for an actual Human value.  Cheaters, like The Democratic Party, need to be taken off the political playing field.

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    distressed distressed


I know it’s not original but I had to do it, so here’s the Dead Prophet Sketch.

The cast:  Tom Cruise, a short guy.  David Miscavige, a really short guy.

Tom Cruise enters the shop pushing a large leather chair with dead old man on it.

TC: Hello, I want to complain.

(Miscavige doesn’t respond.)

TC: Hello, Miss?

DM: What do you mean "miss"?

TC: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

DM: We're closing for lunch.

TC: Never mind that! I’m here to complain about this prophet that I purchased about half an hour ago from this shop.

DM: Oh yes, the, uh, the Nebraska Red. What's, uh...What's wrong with him?

TC: He's dead, that's what's wrong with him!

DM: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

TC: Look, I know a dead prophet when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

DM: No, no, he's not dead, he's, he's resting! Remarkable prophet, isn't, it? Beautiful haircut!

TC: But he's stone dead.

DM: Nononono, no, no! He's resting!

TC: All right then, if he's resting, I'll wake him up! (shouting at the chair) 'Hello, Ronnie! I've got some lovely cash for you to grab if you show...

(Miscavige hits the chair)

DM: There, he moved!

TC: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the chair!

DM: I never!!

TC: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

TC: (yelling and hitting the chair repeatedly) HELLO RONNIE!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes Hubbard out of the chair and thumps his head on the counter. Stands him up and watches him fall to the floor.)

TC: Now that's what I call a dead prophet.

DM: No, no.....No, he's stunned!


DM: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was waking up! Nebraska Reds stun easily, sir.

TC: Now look... I've definitely had enough of this. That prophet clearly deceased, and when I bought him not half an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out following a prolonged lecture.

DM: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the wheat fields.

TC: PINING for the WHEAT FIELDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?  And why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got him home?

DM: Nebraska Reds prefer to lay on the back! Remarkable prophet, isn’t he? Lovely haircut!

TC: Look, I took the liberty of examining that prophet when I got him home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting in his chair in the first place was that he had been NAILED there.


DM: Well, of course he was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed him down, he would have stood up and gone VOOM!

TC: "VOOM"?!? Sir, this man wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through him! He's totally demised!

DM: No, no! He's pining!

TC: He's not pining! He’s passed on! This prophet is no more! He has ceased to be! He’s expired and gone to meet his maker! He’s a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the chair he'd be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He’s off the twig! He’s kicked the bucket, He’s shuffled off his mortal coil and moved on to Target Two!! THIS IS AN EX-PROPHET!!


DM: Well, I'd better replace him, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry sir, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop we're out of prophets.

TC: I see. I see, I get the picture.

DM: I got a slug.


TC: Does it talk?

DM: Nnnnot really.


DM: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

TC: Well?

DM: It leaves a trail of slime.

TC: All right.